Not too recently, I’ve taken an incredible curiosity to our native culture.  I’ve become engrossed in our ancient history and what it has ultimately done for our culture today.  I’ve taken a great liking to every aspect of our culture, from chewing betel nut to amening our elders.  All of this is taking me by storm, and for some reason I can’t seem to get it off my mind.  In light of this, I was yet again thinking about our culture while helping to set up a couple of canopies for my Auntie Carol’s Mayoral Party tonight.  It was so extremely interesting to see how many different aspects could be observed through the simple act of setting up a canopy.  It is here that I leave you with some interesting—and funny—things about the Chamorro culture.

1)Why is it that whenever someone is bushcutting, we can never take our eyes off of    them?  It seems as if we lose ourselves in watching the bushcutting wire twirl at speeds too fast for our eyes to register, cutting down thick patches of grass and long weeds that have grown over time.  I myself was lost in the action, and I happened to glance around to see how many others were doing just the same.  To my surprise, almost everyone in the area had been paying close attention to the lone bushcutter.  It was as if no one had ever seen anyone bushcut before, yet it’s a practiced part of our culture that’s been around for ages!  Name one Chamorro that you know who actually mows their lawn, and I’ll show you a Chamorro who has been living in the states for too long.

2)      So how many Chamorros does it really take to set up two canopies.  If you ask me, I’d tell you that at the most it should take four people, with one for each leg on one respective side of the canopy; when those four are finished putting the legs in one the one side, they can simply move over to the next and do the same.  As far as putting the pipes into the connectors, throwing the tarp on top and placing their bungee cords in their respective holes, two people can do that with much ease.  TODAY THERE WERE 12.  It took twelve able-bodied Chamorros to put up a 30x50 friggin’ canopy!  If that’s not a waste of manpower, then I don’t know what is.  And the same can be said for construction and utility workers.  How many times have you driven on Marine Corps Drive and seen 6 water-works workers—all smoking cigarettes, mind you—crowding around two men who are doing the actual digging to get to the pipe?  C’mon…if you can’t empathize with me on this one, then you’re one terrible Chamorro.

3)      Aren’t Chamorro men so egotistical?  While hanging out at the community center waiting for the canopies to arrive, one woman suggested that someone should bushcut the grassy area that the canopies would eventually sit on.  As soon as someone said that, every man in the room—excluding myself and Adam, of course—jumped at the chance.  You could tell that no one did it because they were fond of bushcutting; let’s face it, no one in their right mind would be fond of bushcutting.  Everyone jumped at the chance to bushcut, however, because there were women in our presence.  Everyone wanted to show one another up, and for a little bit, there was a little debate as to who was going to bushcut!  Can you believe that?  They were actually slightly arguing over who the hell was gonna do the manual labor!  And when one guy finally got a hold of the bushcutter, he was bushcutting so fast and furiously (in an attempt to impress the ladies, I’m sure) that he missed so many spots.  He then went back to these spots and patched them up, oh-so-nonchalantly mumbling something to the effect of, “Lanya, I didn’t see this spot!” or “I couldn’t do this one because there was the rocks right there.”  This aspect even rang true as we were setting up the canopy.  It started to rain incredibly hard, and although most of the people stopped working and got out of the rain, a select few of the men stayed out there, drenched and cold as one can ever be, and continued to work.  There was absolutely no reason why they should have done this, because we were working at about noon and the party didn’t start until 7pm.  What was it all for?

4)   Why is it that whenever Chamorros threaten one another, whether it be playful or not, always use the term, “I’ll punch you in your own mouf,” ?  Why must they do this?  Today, that saying must have been repeated at least 100 times, and I was getting so irritated.  EVERYONE was saying it, right down to the little kids that were running around the community center playing hide-and-seek.  The one that got me, however, was this high school girl.  She had been playing around with Robert (the guy who won the bushcutter fight) and Robert had said something about her mother and she replies with, “Just for that, I’m going to punch you in your mouf, Roberto!”  Wow.

Those were just some funny little things I was noticing while setting up those damn canopies.  I had a kick out of them, and I hope you did too!